One time I got Pregnant.

So here I am 9 days before I am due FINALLY writing about my pregnancy. Better late than never right?

Before I start at the beginning (don't worry, I wont go back to the actual date of conception), I want everyone to know that I am extremely happy now and think this little baby girl is one of the biggest blessings in my life.... It just took me about 6 months to feel that way.

Moving from our life in Paradise (Hawaii), to backpacking in Thailand for 3 weeks, to... Georgia... was a pretty hard transition for me. Dan had a stellar job and I had a degree in music... what can you do with that? I was trying to figure out what I was supposed to do in life... try and become a big opera star, become a famous actress, do something BIG! Then I became really interested in nursing and suddenly I had made up my mind. I would start nursing school immediately. It would be perfect. I would be finished with nursing school by the time he needed to get his masters and I would take him through that and we would graduate mostly loan free and then start our perfect little family in 5 years. I LOVE PLANNING!

Then my period was late.

I am never late. My thoughts started racing. "Did we stop using condoms too early?" "I thought it was impossible to get pregnant on your period" "I can't can't can't can't can't be pregnant"

Two days after my period was so supposed to come, I grabbed the pregnancy test Dan's sisters gave us for our wedding as a joke... as a JOKE people! I really wasn't going to get pregnant for a Loooooong time.

The thing about pregnancy tests is that they take a while to show up. So when you think you're home free and you feel so relieved, about two minutes later you start to see another pink line, and then if you're me, you fall to the floor.

I don't think I've ever felt so afraid in my life. I was curled up in a ball on the floor crying my eyes out and had no idea what to do. This wasn't part of my plan. (Can you tell I am a type A personality to the extreme?)

When Dan came home that day I didn't even tell him. I had just read a friends blog the day before about how she told her husband she was pregnant. She had cute little baby shoes and a card that announced the due date of their baby. How the heck was I supposed to be cute and creative when I was so terrified?

I left the pregnancy test on the bathroom counter and when Dan came out he asked "Tess... are you pregnant?"

I tried to be strong, tried to fight back the tears, but I just couldn't. Again I collapsed to the floor and cried. Dan was shocked I was crying. He couldn't be happier.

"Tess this is WONDERFUL!" He hugged and held me and told me how excited he was. It helped a little but I still wasn't convinced.

We told our parents that weekend. My family first said "Tessa, you can't joke about this sort of thing."

"I'm not joking." I replied dryly. They really didn't believe it. I didn't either. Like I said.... It wasn't my plan. But I have a feeling this little girl inside me is a lot like her mother. She does what she wants on her time. And she was determined to come into this world whether I was ready or not.

Besides... how hard could being pregnant really be? I mean it's not that big of a deal right?

Oh. Ignorance is bliss.

Here I am right before I took the test. I wanted to remember what I looked like skinny.