One time I got Pregnant... Part TWO
It's a good thing I wrote this before I had a baby! I just forgot to post it!!
I realized that my first post about this was getting too long. So here is part two!!!! Oh and I promise my next one will be happier. This one is still about the first 6 months... you know... the time where I was... adjusting.
So after my horrific breakdown and telling family we were having a baby, nothing really felt different. I had zero pregnancy symptoms and no period. Awesome. Maybe pregnancy wasn't so bad after all. Maybe I would be one of those girls that every other woman who has experienced morning sickness secretly hates because her pregnancy is so smooth. Yeah. I would be that girl.
Ooops. Shouldn't have been cocky. Pregnancy is HARD. I can remember the first time I threw up oh so very clearly. I was at work (Sorry to be negative nancy but I really really really hated that job) training to do the "sales" portion of the job. Really just answering phones and entering things into the computer all while standing for 4 hours because apparently they didn't believe in chairs here.... But anyway, my sweet boss was telling me everything I needed to do when I smelled a horrible stench in the air. Honestly it smelled like death. I realized I could only smell it when she was talking to me. My thoughts started to wander "How often does she floss her teeth?" "Did she forget to brush her teeth this morning?" "Why does it smell like our tour guides breath... the one in Egypt... the one who never brushed his teeth. ever." And then it hit me. This huge horrible churning knot in my stomach. Whoa. I don't even know what she was saying but I could feel my face go pale as I said "Sorry, I have to go to the bathroom really bad."
Tons and Tons of orange throw up exploded from my mouth (I have an obsession with carrots). Luckily I made it to the toilet. It was gross. I was shaking. I was shocked at how much energy it took out me. But still, all I could think was "Great. I don't even have a toothbrush."
As I slowly walked back to the desk I blurted "I threw up because I am pregnant. I uh... just found out."
Throwing up became a constant thing from that moment on. The only things I could keep down were top ramen and cheese. My days of green smoothies were gone. I still can't drink one without gagging and running to the toilet. My yummy chocolate cheerios went straight to the toilet.
I continued to do Insanity most days because I would feel ok while I was doing it and only throw up half the time after.
Dan was the sweetest man and whenever he was home he would drop whatever he was doing and run to the toilet to hold my hair back. But he wasn't home that often. Most days he would work from 7:30 in the morning till 10 at night. The night time was the worst for me so I wasn't much fun when he came home.
I cried.
A lot.
I knew my dreams of becoming an actress were over. Heck basically my whole LIFE was over. Yeah I know... I'm dramatic. I quit my job because Dan was going to Boston for 6 weeks and there was NO way I could be alone for that long. I was an emotional wreck.
.JPG)
That was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
This is my 15 week belly shot. All my muscle gone at this point.
I realized that my first post about this was getting too long. So here is part two!!!! Oh and I promise my next one will be happier. This one is still about the first 6 months... you know... the time where I was... adjusting.
So after my horrific breakdown and telling family we were having a baby, nothing really felt different. I had zero pregnancy symptoms and no period. Awesome. Maybe pregnancy wasn't so bad after all. Maybe I would be one of those girls that every other woman who has experienced morning sickness secretly hates because her pregnancy is so smooth. Yeah. I would be that girl.
Ooops. Shouldn't have been cocky. Pregnancy is HARD. I can remember the first time I threw up oh so very clearly. I was at work (Sorry to be negative nancy but I really really really hated that job) training to do the "sales" portion of the job. Really just answering phones and entering things into the computer all while standing for 4 hours because apparently they didn't believe in chairs here.... But anyway, my sweet boss was telling me everything I needed to do when I smelled a horrible stench in the air. Honestly it smelled like death. I realized I could only smell it when she was talking to me. My thoughts started to wander "How often does she floss her teeth?" "Did she forget to brush her teeth this morning?" "Why does it smell like our tour guides breath... the one in Egypt... the one who never brushed his teeth. ever." And then it hit me. This huge horrible churning knot in my stomach. Whoa. I don't even know what she was saying but I could feel my face go pale as I said "Sorry, I have to go to the bathroom really bad."
Tons and Tons of orange throw up exploded from my mouth (I have an obsession with carrots). Luckily I made it to the toilet. It was gross. I was shaking. I was shocked at how much energy it took out me. But still, all I could think was "Great. I don't even have a toothbrush."
As I slowly walked back to the desk I blurted "I threw up because I am pregnant. I uh... just found out."
Throwing up became a constant thing from that moment on. The only things I could keep down were top ramen and cheese. My days of green smoothies were gone. I still can't drink one without gagging and running to the toilet. My yummy chocolate cheerios went straight to the toilet.
I continued to do Insanity most days because I would feel ok while I was doing it and only throw up half the time after.
Dan was the sweetest man and whenever he was home he would drop whatever he was doing and run to the toilet to hold my hair back. But he wasn't home that often. Most days he would work from 7:30 in the morning till 10 at night. The night time was the worst for me so I wasn't much fun when he came home.
I cried.
A lot.
I knew my dreams of becoming an actress were over. Heck basically my whole LIFE was over. Yeah I know... I'm dramatic. I quit my job because Dan was going to Boston for 6 weeks and there was NO way I could be alone for that long. I was an emotional wreck.
.JPG)
This is my 15 week belly shot. All my muscle gone at this point.
ohhhhhh girlfriend. this post rings true. someday we are going to see each other in person and hold each other and cry our eyes out for how hard pregnancy is. and i'm sure it had to be soooo hard for you since you hadn't been "trying" to get pregnant, so you had that extra craziness. i remember one time, travis's sister was like, why are you puking in the toilet? you should be puking in a bowl and having travis empty it for you. and i was like, um because i am alone all. the. time. doing this all by myself. being sick longterm is the worst. i'm so sorry it was rough and i'm sooooo happy you made it!!! you did it!!!! you are so strong! i can't wait to hear the rest of the story! you give me hope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this comment is so long. i love you and your beautiful baby!!!!
ReplyDeleteHm-m-m-m I was sick three months with your mother....and went through 46 hours of labor.....YOU were worth it!!! and so was she cause if there wasn't a she there wouldn't be you and no Estella. :) I love you...and pregnancy is hard...we are women...we are mighty!!
ReplyDeleteLove this..... Most of us women can relate to this! Isn't that the great part? That you really AREN'T doing this alone? That all of us go through this? Same with all the crying and hard parts about now having a newborn - you're not alone, Momma. You never are and never will be! Us women ROCK. YOU rock. Keep writing, we love reading your story.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh - Top Ramen was my entire existence for SO. long. And Chris was never home at the beginning of my pregnancy/morning sickness either. I think my one of my least favorite things was the backsplash that sometimes happens from puking in the toilet...That would always make me dry heave a little extra. Hah. I am so glad those days are over! Thank goodness for our beautiful baby girls, huh? :)
ReplyDelete