I'm head over heels in love...

I have an unusual obsession with food documentaries and the food industry. I really hate the food industry. The amount of hatred I feel towards them is bizarre. I watched this horrible video and cried when I saw how the animals were treated. Now... I am really not an animal lover at all. If you know me, you probably have noticed I never call dogs by their "name" and I most certainly do not touch them. That being said, I really feel that I can't help sustain an industry that treats gods creations so awfully. (Lately I even feel conflicted killing spiders that I find in my apartment.... yes I know I am weird) Dan and I decided that from that point forward we wouldn't buy items that support the meat/dairy industry. When we ran out of eggs, we realized how hard this new life style would be. Organic eggs from free range chickens cost twice the amount of the eggs from chickens who are in cages their entire life. Ugh. I really wanted a my own coop of chickens by then

Please don't think I'm insane. But I really think my 7-month old child is telling me she has to defecate... and that she would prefer to do it on the toilet. Sounds crazy right? A couple months ago I bought a little toilet seat that set on top of the toilet for Estela. I figure why not let her try it as much as she can now so Potty training isn't this brand new thing all of a sudden that I try to do in 3 days while ripping out all of my hair at the same time? (longest sentence of my life) If I catch her pooping and I am at home, I'll run with her to the toilet and have her finish there. I tell her how excellent she is at defecating and give her lots of smiles and kisses. Now here is where it gets weird... A few days ago my usually constantly happy baby was being particularly fussy. She wouldn't nurse or take her bottle. She didn't even want to play with her favorite creepy alligator toy. I picked her up and she kept looking towards the hallway. When

Brace yourselves... This is going to be a long one. About 4 weeks before my due date, a friend from church gave me a book about hypnobirthing. If you are planning to give birth naturally, I suggest not trying to cram what would take 9 months to learn into 4 weeks. The book was wonderful. It talks about how birth is a natural, sacred, and beautiful thing. If you are ready to give birth and aren't afraid, there should be no pain. After reading it, I was 100% sure my birth would be a pain free, natural birth. Yeah, my sister and mother said labor was awful but they just don't have as high of a pain tolerance like I did.... Ha. What a silly thought. We had taken a tour of the hospital and my birth plan was all done. We were ready for this baby to come. I had watched dozens of birth videos and cried during every single one. I made Dan watch at least 3 with me so he would be prepared and not pass out for the birth of our daughter. A week before my due date, February 3rd, I wa

When I went to Boston, my whole attitude started to change. I randomly ran into a friend who I studied with in Jerusalem. She had just moved there with her husband and was also pregnant! Just 2 and a half weeks due before me. My friend Amy from my study abroad in Jerusalem Seeing her so excited and talking to her about pregnancy and babies and giving birth and nursing made me realize that having a baby was not my funeral. We went shopping for maternity clothes and talked about how determined we were to have a natural birth ( I mean really... if people have been doing it for a couple thousand years without meds how hard could it be...? Yeah... you really don't understand labor pains until you've been through them). Then something magical happened. While I was sitting in Dan's hotel room reading a book, I felt my stomach spasm. Usually my spasms are quick (who the heck has spasms? I get them regularly in my legs..weird I know) and so when this one kept going, I drop

It's a good thing I wrote this before I had a baby! I just forgot to post it!! I realized that my first post about this was getting too long. So here is part two!!!! Oh and I promise my next one will be happier. This one is still about the first 6 months... you know... the time where I was... adjusting. So after my horrific breakdown and telling family we were having a baby, nothing really felt different. I had zero pregnancy symptoms and no period. Awesome. Maybe pregnancy wasn't so bad after all. Maybe I would be one of those girls that every other woman who has experienced morning sickness secretly hates because her pregnancy is so smooth. Yeah. I would be that girl. Ooops. Shouldn't have been cocky. Pregnancy is HARD. I can remember the first time I threw up oh so very clearly. I was at work (Sorry to be negative nancy but I really really really hated that job) training to do the "sales" portion of the job. Really just answering phones and entering thing

So here I am 9 days before I am due FINALLY writing about my pregnancy. Better late than never right? Before I start at the beginning (don't worry, I wont go back to the actual date of conception), I want everyone to know that I am extremely happy now and think this little baby girl is one of the biggest blessings in my life.... It just took me about 6 months to feel that way. Moving from our life in Paradise (Hawaii), to backpacking in Thailand for 3 weeks, to... Georgia... was a pretty hard transition for me. Dan had a stellar job and I had a degree in music... what can you do with that? I was trying to figure out what I was supposed to do in life... try and become a big opera star, become a famous actress, do something BIG! Then I became really interested in nursing and suddenly I had made up my mind. I would start nursing school immediately. It would be perfect. I would be finished with nursing school by the time he needed to get his masters and I would take him through tha